SURVIVOR II EPISODE SUMMARIES
Episode 1 Summary - By 'Irisheyes' Da Plane, Da Plane!!!! Over the noise of the plane comes the voice of the man we have been missing since the summer, Jeffy, the AnalProbe boy Wow, he's hanging out of the plane and not one inch of hair is out of place. What a neat trick Jeffy-boy, hanging ou the plane and looking so good in his khakis. I'm barfing right along with the new cast. And so he begins his speech......Royal Austrialian plane.... yadda yadda yadda...... puke noise.....No one has spoken to each other yet ..... puke noise...yadda yadda yadda...I start to nod off when I get a glance Jeffy's perfect hair. How does he do that? Now we get a glance at the infamous sixteen new contestents. Jesus H Christ, can they look any more depressed. Oh sorry, thats just Debb. Her eyeliner must have worn off after crying too hard over losin that lovin feeling from her stepson. Plane lands and they jump off, all the while a voice over from the AnalProbe man introducing us, showing them at there place of work, etc. Whoa, MadDog is gonna kick some ass!!!! And what a snappy salute from the Intelligence man, who scarily, looks like AC Slater. Cook me up some paella Emeril lookalike! Give as an J-E-F-F! Now we are forced to watch the groups make the four mile trek through the woods, or however far they have to walk, I wasn't really paying attention to the logistics. They walk, they bitch, they walk, they bitch. Are we there yet Papa Smurf! NO! Finally we see that both the tribes get to their respective campsites, which really pissed me off. I wanted to see them walk the Outback for 42 days trying to find that damn campsite. Talk about surviving! Kuchi-coo immediately does the bright thing and jumps in the water. Good thing Mad Dog's an Ogookaka, her lipstick might have smudged off. At least Colby brought a flag I thought. They can use it too ward off the sun. Then he states how happy he is to wake up and be Texan. There goes my opinion of him. Dumbass. You should be with the Kuchi-coos, cause now in their part of the world, it's raining and they haven't built their shelter. Though the Hatch wanna be is trying his damndest to show everyone the right way to build a shelter. Whatever. Over at Ogookaka, friction builds. The actress chick is mad at the Emeril guy. He just wants to cook! Damnit! Shut up Girl! After the sexual tension starts to heat up between them, he suggests she beat it out on her bongos. He meant her breasts, but when she brought out her drums, the woody he was holding suddennly fell away. That night, over at Kuchi-coo, Kimmi cackles. Kimmi whines, "Where can I masterbate". You know what, thats the reason I didn't sign up for S2. I was so worried that I wouldn't have a place to masterbate. Good thing Rodger didn't hear that or we may have been subjected to a lecture of masterbating can cause blindness. By this time, I just want to see the immunity challenge. I'm dying to see Jeffyboy again. There he is... Opps, sorry, got a little distracted. Almost started to think like Kimmi. Tribes line up, do some running, do some firelighting, do some swimming. In the end, the dumbasses of Kuchi-coo lose. The Ogookakas go home with matches, Kuchi-coos go home, plotting the death of one of their own, as Jeffy would say. The cheerleader guy,who I have now decided shoud be my boy toy is puking his guts out. After contemplating whether he should eat it again, he goes and talks to Chyna, I mean Alicia. She tells him she heard Debb say he wanted off. He flashes those pearly whites and declares, hell no, she must go! So off to TC we go. Wow, Fake Stonehenge! Jeffyboy is there, telling everyone what to do, like they didn't know already. "If you get voted off, that person gets thrown off the cliff here, I mean go down to that confessional." Jeffy asks may too many questions of this group, get on with it! And in a landslide, our prison guard is thrown of the side of the cliff. Kimmi, looking for a masterbating buddy, looked for one in Debb. But when Debb told her masterbating isn't her thing, only semi incest, Kimmi decided that since Debb won't be much fun, since they aren't related, she should go. So off they go, back with fire. And another TC ends. So does this weak attempt of a summary One question? Where was the word I was looking for. ALLIANCE!